Monday, November 25, 2013

In Need of Motivation

Approaching the end of year, I feel myself lacking of motivation.
Rather than going to a motivator or watch some videos, I choose to browse free motivational quotes in the internet.
Don't know why, but something that I read is more impressing to me. so, this is some that I like...

PS: pictures and quotes is not mine (disclaimer)

More under...


I think, this is something that I don't have?

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Marriage and Death

My family got so many wedding invitation within this month, and there's still some other for the next month. Every time I come along, I always have my time to think about lots of things after meals.

The party was always glorious. Whether it's the bridegroom and the guest. Everyone plasters a bright smile. They wear their best clothes, blessed the bridegroom with gifts. So does the new happy family gives them a nice souvenir in return.

Observing the crowded around me, I can't help myself to think about this;

Your wedding ceremony was this crowded, will your funeral be the same?

People comes to the party because they're invited. But would they come to your funeral without being invited? Because death is not an occasion where you would spread an invitation for people to see you for the last time.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Weird Thing

What is it? Who?
Oh, it's my face~


I was dumbfounded when I stared at my reflection in mirror just now.
I didn't recognize my own face!

Oh, well. Due too much crying when watching "Kyou no Hi wa Sayonara Drama SP", my eyes was swollen as well my face. No wonder since I wasted so many tissue while watching.
Now if I had to count, maybe the tears I spilled out reach tens mililiters XD

Hoho, I was chuckling seeing my weird facial appearance, it's really not me! I wonder how could I turn that foreign for my own knowledge. Next time after crying hard, I guess I should take some photos XD

Wednesday, November 20, 2013



Don't come closer!
You may hurt your ear.

Yes, I really want to scream right now. But there's no way I'd do that. I never ever scream that loud all my life! and I can't imagine if I'd really do that.

What the...?

Oh, I don't really know what happen to me.
Yes, I'm here to spam this blog of  me again today.
Is it about assignment? or I just having distress for no exact reason.

Maybe there's a reason; like I'm thinking too much about untouched tasks in my computer.
Yes, there's many of it. and instead of finishing it I only thinking about how I'd do that.
Well, I know my laziness always win over me. That's why I'm being problematic.
But hey~ there's also a reason for it. I'm type of people who work better in destitute condition. I'm one those people who have "The Power of Kepepet"


"I love you more than anything in this world!"

What a great lie to say~

*shrug off and walk away.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

[Lyric] Backstreet Boys - LIft Me Up

When I'm lost along the way and I can't face another day
And if I stumble on the road and if I can't carry the load
And if I lose my faith, and kindness, and generosity
Would you hold my hand?
Say you understand my pain

Most of the time when I feel down, I'd listen to this song...
Remembering all people who always supporting me.
My parent, siblings, relatives and best friends...
I'll keep in my mind that I'm not alone in this world, that I'm not helpless.
There's God who protects me all the time...


Liftin' me up, me up, me up, me up.
Liftin' me up, me up, me up, me up...

When I'm down on my luck and I'm searching for my soul
When I'm feeling too much and I start to lose control
When I'm down so low that even enemies don't wanna know
You still care for me, say a prayer for me, and I know

Oooh, I like you hangin' around
'Cause you lift me up when I am upside down
Oooh, you are my favorite sound
'Cause you're always down for

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Sleep Disorder?

I'm getting confused these days...
Whenever I sleep, I'll have nightmare.

Monday, November 11, 2013


I think we can be good friend, but seems like it's not...?

I want to believe that you care about me too, like how I care about you. 


I think I'm wrong...

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Who Are You?

We never know what fate could bring us. Where we may go, who we could meet, what may happen in near time or far future.

I was at the wedding party this afternoon, waiting for my grandpa who still attending the "hand-over ceremony" between the bridegroom family. We was about to leave that time, but that traditional procession not seem to end soon.

I sat near the main gate, together with my grandma and aunt. She was waiting for her husband--my uncle, ready to come back too.

As I felt boring with the noises and crowded around me, I averted my gaze to the surrounding hoping to capture something worth to see. But there was just people, people, people and people.

I change my intention of just sightseeing to find my uncle instead. Who knows if I could capture his figure in that sea of people. I'm great if I could do that, right?
*getting narcissistic again!

So then, I continue on observing, peeking here and there, looking to everywhere. That's when my gaze accidentally fell on that someone...

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Someone Who Looks Like Me

Aira, I met someone who looks really similar to you.

A text that I received last night.

I frowned at first. Wondering what's the purpose of telling me? What's more, it came late at night.

Don't equate me with others. But I replied nevertheless, getting curious on why he may think I need to know that.
I'm not! She does look like you. The you when we're in junior high back then.Seriously! He insisted. 

I got annoyed on his stubbornness. Honestly, I don't like to be compared or equate with others, much more a stranger.

What thing she has that's similar to me? I asked at last, giving him a chance to explain what he really want to say.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Cloudy Night

Rain has just stopped
The atmosphere turn quiet

I turn off the light.

Good night~

Silent room, Nov 6, 2013

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Happy New Year!

We have entered the new year of Hijra!

Let's pray for a better life, better future, better world.
Praying for God blessing.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Under Rainy Sky

I don't know why, perhaps it because the beginning of month was greeted by death news, I start to think more about death now, listening to nasyid with death theme, reading sad stories and write more about death. This is a story that I wrote months ago. Since I somehow get a feeling that November is month of death, I decide to post this.


Under Rainy Sky 
-Aira Hadi-
Taken from here

The autumn breeze started to blow, sweeping away the heat that linger over the town. As if saying goodbye to the summer and reminds the townspeople to welcome the upcoming season, preparing their selves to cope with the change of temperature.

Clouds hanging in the sky, covering the vast blue reflection. Maple tree has shed their leaves, let them fall and lay on dark brownish ground, or blown away by the naughty wind. A great view of landscape that can only be enjoyed once a year. 

A short boy place himself on the steel bench inside a small park in the edge of road. His eyes glued at pedestrian way where people passing by in hurry, walking towards various directions. Minutes passed by as well. Time flows so fast without waiting for anyone. He sat still, looks so lifeless, with the deep wound occupying his heart and the same loneliness he has been suffering since long.

People said time would heal the pain… Two seasons had passed since his heartbreak incident. But he feels nothing change. Except the open wound inside his heart which is wider day by day. He thought he could easily get rid of the pain and forgetting everything as he start a new life. He had out from his high school life, moving to another side of Tokyo, becoming a bright university student, changing into cheerful personality, gaining more friends… He did a lot things to escape from his old self, trying his best to get that someone out his mind, pretending that he had never experience those painful memories, yet his soul still trapped in the same loneliness. He feels nothing but empty.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Welcome Rain!

Heavy rain pour again...
I love it.

This is the first rain in November, I hope the long remaining days will also rainy. I love rain after all.

The rumble sound of rain hitting roof tile is so loud but I don't hate that. The scent of wet ground is calming and relaxing.

Raining is the most time I feel happy.

It's quite cold. I should brew some coffee :)

The Feeling of Losing

"What has gone is gone. You won't get it back no matter how hard you beg. So, cherish everything you have before it taken away.

- The Saddest Side of Me

I’m talking about death.

The beginning of November was greeted by sad news, one of my father relatives got into motorcycle accident and passed away. This is once again reminds me that death is hunting us and become nearer day by day. Our time in this world is limit. We could never guess when our life comes to the end.

No matter how much we love someone. He will disappear from our life. Our feeling towards him won’t change anything. We can’t save him from death, no we can’t. Do you realize that death is the only disease without cure? No one could escape from death treat. No scientist know how death itself taking one life.

If you were a good person, many people would come to your funeral, mourn on your end. Prayers come from around the world, wishing for your victory in the next life. Cries and tears sent you to your last home; a grave.