Under Rainy Sky

I don't know why, perhaps it because the beginning of month was greeted by death news, I start to think more about death now, listening to nasyid with death theme, reading sad stories and write more about death. This is a story that I wrote months ago. Since I somehow get a feeling that November is month of death, I decide to post this.

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Under Rainy Sky 
-Aira Hadi-

Taken from here

The autumn breeze started to blow, sweeping away the heat that linger over the town. As if saying goodbye to the summer and reminds the townspeople to welcome the upcoming season, preparing their selves to cope with the change of temperature.

Clouds hanging in the sky, covering the vast blue reflection. Maple tree has shed their leaves, let them fall and lay on dark brownish ground, or blown away by the naughty wind. A great view of landscape that can only be enjoyed once a year. 

A short boy place himself on the steel bench inside a small park in the edge of road. His eyes glued at pedestrian way where people passing by in hurry, walking towards various directions. Minutes passed by as well. Time flows so fast without waiting for anyone. He sat still, looks so lifeless, with the deep wound occupying his heart and the same loneliness he has been suffering since long.

People said time would heal the pain… Two seasons had passed since his heartbreak incident. But he feels nothing change. Except the open wound inside his heart which is wider day by day. He thought he could easily get rid of the pain and forgetting everything as he start a new life. He had out from his high school life, moving to another side of Tokyo, becoming a bright university student, changing into cheerful personality, gaining more friends… He did a lot things to escape from his old self, trying his best to get that someone out his mind, pretending that he had never experience those painful memories, yet his soul still trapped in the same loneliness. He feels nothing but empty.

Soft breeze slowly changing into a cold wind as the white clouds drifted away replace by the dark one. He buttoned his coat to shield his shivering weak body. His thin and pale skin could never bear with the cold. He’s fragile, so does his heart. He looked up and met with the gloomy sky. Then he curved a thin smile, waiting for the drizzle to fall. 

Weather forecast said that rain would pour today, but he did not bother to bring an umbrella. He simply wanted to enjoy the rain, hoping it would wash away his pain.

Few drops landed on his face, mixed with his warm tears and stream down his cheeks, then jump onto his lap continuously. He opened his eyes to greet another drops, his bad eyesight became totally blur when the rain hit his eyelashes. He closed them again and crooked his lips, drawing another bitter smile that always adorn his round face these past moths.

After sometime, he could feel the rain pouring harder. Hitting his soft skin without space, the cold water wetting his clothes, creeping into the deepest layer and molest his sensitive skin. He feels his body sore, but his heart is numb.

There’s assumption that men should not cry… Then why I have tears? He attempted to stand but his knees were trembling badly, it failed to support his body making he fell on the grassy ground. He burst out an awkward laugh, mocking his self. If only his soul wasn’t inside his body at the moment, he could see how miserable his look, laying so helpless under the open sky with rain watering his already trembling body senselessly. 

He cried.

God, why don’t you just take me now? I have no reason to stay alive… He stayed in that position, didn’t even bother to move a single muscle of his body. He was busy with his deep thought, cursing his unfair life. All that I do just get me into another trouble, bringing me to feel more pain. Don’t I have my own share of happiness? Why is all that I feel is heartache? He cried his heart content out. He was sure the rain prevented his hoarse voice heard by others. Moreover, it was downpour so he thought no people around, since no one came to help him this far. It’s not like he care anyway. It’s expected, because no one like to stay outdoor in such a cold weather. 

Suddenly, he felt rain stop hitting his face. It’s strange, because he could feel drop by drop dancing in his lower body. He hesitantly opened his eyes, there his gaze met unfamiliar figure with black hoodie covering his upper face. His right hand was holding a metal stick. Then he crouched down, slowly, his face getting more and more close to his. He laugh, is this the end of my life? Then he felt the world around him spinning before the darkness engulfed him whole. 

Indrapuri, August 2013